Sometimes we parents unintentionally do things that can harm our kids' confidence. So being aware of some do's and don'ts for raising confident and happy kids is very important.
“Confidence is one of the greatest gifts parents can give their child.” As a parent, I try not to leave any stone unturned to boost my child’s confidence.
Sometimes we parents end up doing things that can severely damage our kids’ self-esteem and push them into self-doubt. So after thorough research, I have jotted down some do’s and don’ts that we must follow to raise strong and confident kids.
Watch Your Words
Be careful with what you say in front of your child. It may seem that they are not paying attention, but in reality, they are listening to you and absorbing every word that you use for or against them. So, never say negative things about them, when they are around you. Don’t say things that demotivate them, like my child is very under-confident, is not interactive, etc.
Praise your child
Always praise more of what they do nicely rather than just correcting them where they went wrong. Remember to praise them more than the times you correct them. Praise them genuinely for the things that they are good at or for the things that they are capable of doing. Always remember to praise their effort, not the outcome. Eg, if your child scores well in any subject, praise him for his hard work, not the marks.
Appreciate them for trying something new
Be it trying a new roller coaster or trying their hands on a new sport, encourage by applauding their attempt to step out of their comfort zone and trying something new. Stepping out and trying totally unfamiliar things take courage, hence they deserve appreciation.
Perspective about Failure
Parents should try to change their kids perspective about Failure. Tell them that failures are the greatest teachers because they motivate us to do better each time. Our personalities are shaped on how we take our failures in life. Prepare them by telling them that participating and working hard is more important than winning!!
Encourage them to question
When kids put a question, it signifies that they do understand that there is a whole world of new things which they are unfamiliar with and they want to learn more and more. Kids who are curious to know more, tend to learn better and faster.
Be Their Role Model
I strongly believe that parents need to be what they want their child to be. You be their role model and let them learn from their best teachers in life. You won’t have to tell them anything. They will simply download everything in their systems by simply looking at you. Handle your success and failures, the way you want them to handle.
Don’t make an issue
Don’t make an issue out of their small problems like an introvert, not social, etc. Please don’t harp all the time about the small areas where they lack. This way you are not motivating them to change rather you are teaching them to learn to complain about things all the time.
Don’t assist too much
Let them figure out the ways to do things that demand more hard work. Don’t do the difficult part for them. Rendering a helping hand too much and too soon reduces the child’s ability for self-help. Solving their big and small problems on their own teaches them self-reliance.
Don’t compare your child
Please don’t ever compare your child with other kids. We need to understand that each child is different. So, Tailor your expectations according to your child’s uniqueness and abilities. Keep them realistic.
Let them act their age
Don’t expect them to act like adults. Let them learn and do things according to their age-appropriate pace. Pushing them or forcing them to do age-inappropriate activities, which they are not comfortable with, may discourage them and adversely affect their self-confidence.
Never Ridicule their Feelings
Don’t ridicule their feelings of anxiousness, nervousness or fear. Empathise with them and try to acknowledge their feelings. Tell them that its okay to feel this way or that you understand what they are feeling. Instead of telling them don’t be nervous or why are you scared, tell that they are stronger than the situation. Assure them that you will always be there with them.
Our efforts today will help our kids grow into Strong and confident adults capable of handling challenges that would come there way. Do share how you keep their happiness and confidence index high.